THE PSYCHOLOGICAL GAMES PEOPLE PLAY DURING OFFICIAL AND SOCIAL INTERACTIONS - Dr. Joshy K.T.

The psychological games people play during official and social interactions

 Dr. Joshy K.T.

Psychological Games people play

Introduction

Psychological games and their components

Psychological games are transactions or interactions between two or more people in which there is an ulterior motive or hidden agenda. Games often involve superficial or trivial communication on the surface, while the real purpose of the interaction is concealed or implied.
 
Games can occur in many different contexts, such as in personal relationships, in the workplace, or in social situations. They can be played consciously or unconsciously, and they often involve power dynamics, manipulation, and a desire for attention or recognition. It involves several components:
 
1. The players: are the individuals involved in the game.
2. The game: is the social interaction or transaction that takes place.
3. The payoff: is the hidden or ulterior motive that one or more players are seeking to achieve.
4. The script: is the underlying beliefs or assumptions that drive the behavior of the players.
 
For example in a romantic relationship, one partner might start an argument about a minor issue in order to get the other partner to apologize or show affection. In the workplace, an employee might intentionally make a mistake in order to get attention from their boss or to avoid taking on additional responsibilities.

In a social setting, one person might constantly talk about their own achievements in order to make others feel inferior or to establish themselves as the center of attention.
 
The study of psychological games helps individuals identify and understand the games they play in order to improve communication, build healthier relationships, and live more fulfilling lives. By becoming aware of their own patterns of behavior and those of others, individuals can work to break out of negative scripts and establish more positive and authentic interactions with others.
 

The consequences of playing Psychological games

The consequences of playing Psychological games can be significant and varied. Some potential consequences of playing games include:

Breakdown of communication

Games can create misunderstandings and misinterpretations, leading to breakdowns in communication and difficulties in resolving conflicts.
 
Deterioration of relationships

When games are played repeatedly, they can erode trust and respect in relationships, leading to feelings of resentment and disconnection.

Negative emotions 

Games can cause negative emotions such as frustration, anger, and sadness, which can have a detrimental effect on overall well-being and mental health.

Limited personal growth

Individuals who play games may be limiting their own personal growth by perpetuating negative patterns of behavior and avoiding honest self-reflection.
 
How to end a Psychological game

The end of a game depends on the players and their willingness to break out of the negative patterns they are in. In some cases, one player may become aware of the game being played and choose to communicate more authentically and openly, which can help to shift the dynamic and lead to more positive outcomes. In other cases, players may continue to play the game, leading to ongoing negative consequences and potential breakdowns in the relationship.
 
The terms involved in a Psychological game

To study psychological games, we have to understand the terms Con, Gimmick, Response, Switch, Cross up, and Payoff which are used to describe different elements of a game.
 
Con: a deception or manipulation that is used to gain an advantage in a game. It is a way of tricking someone into doing something that they might not do if they knew all the facts.

Gimmick: a ploy or strategy that is used to try and get the upper hand in a game. It is a way of gaining an advantage through a clever or unusual approach. For example, a person might try to win an argument by making a funny joke to distract the other person from the topic at hand.
 
Response: a reaction or reply to something that has been said or done.

The switch: a sudden change in the rules or dynamics of a game. It is a way of catching someone off guard and gaining an advantage. For example, a person might agree to a compromise during a negotiation, only to suddenly change their mind and demand more when the other person has already agreed.
 
Cross-up: a move that deceives or confuses an opponent, typically by faking one direction and going another.
 
Payoff: the reward or benefit that is gained by playing a game. It is the reason why someone might engage in a game in the first place. For example, a person might play the victim in order to receive sympathy and attention from others.
 
Understanding these elements of a game can be helpful in recognising when games are being played and in working to establish more honest and authentic communication. By becoming aware of the cons, gimmicks, switches, and payoffs that are involved in a game, individuals can begin to take responsibility for their own actions and work towards building healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
 
All of these elements of a game are used to manipulate the other person and gain an advantage in the interaction. By understanding these elements and recognizing when they are being used, individuals can work towards building more honest and authentic relationships, where hidden agendas are replaced by clear and direct communication.
 
Example of a Psychological game

Here's an example that shows how a Con can lead to a gimmick, response, switch, cross-up, and payoff in a transactional analysis game:
 
Imagine that Mr. Arun Menon wants to get his way in a negotiation with his co-worker, Ms. Alice. In fact, Arun has a hidden agenda to make Alice feel guilty so she will give in to his demands. Here's how the game might play out:
 
Con: Arun starts the game by telling Alice that he has been working long hours and sacrificing his personal time to meet their shared deadline. He implies that Alice is not working as hard as he is and that she is not holding up her end of the bargain.
 
Gimmick: Alice responds by getting defensive and arguing that she has also been working hard. Arun then switches tactics and uses a gimmick to throw Alice off balance. He makes a self-deprecating joke, and Alice laughs, feeling more relaxed and off-guard.
 
Switch: Arun then uses the opportunity to make a sudden switch in the negotiation. He suggests that if Alice can't put in the extra effort to meet the deadline, they should consider bringing in someone else to help. Alice feels threatened by this suggestion and starts to worry about her job security.
 
Payoff: Finally, Arun gets his payoff. Alice, feeling guilty and vulnerable, agrees to Arun's demands in order to avoid the potential consequences of being replaced on the project. Arun has achieved his hidden agenda of making Alice feel guilty and gaining the upper hand in the negotiation.
 
This example shows how a Con can lead to a Gimmick, Switch, and Payoff in a Psychological game. Arun's con was to manipulate Alice by making her feel guilty, which set the stage for his gimmick, switch, and payoff. By recognizing the elements of the game, Alice could have chosen to be more direct in her communication with Arun and avoid getting drawn into a game that was based on deception and manipulation.

Implications of Psychological Games in management 

Analysis of Psychological games can have significant implications for management, both in terms of the interpersonal dynamics within a team and the overall success of the organization. Here are some of the key implications:
 
Reduced productivity

Games within a team can lead to tension and mistrust, which can reduce overall productivity. When individuals are focused on hidden agendas and manipulating others, they are less likely to work together effectively towards shared goals.
 
Poor communication 

Games often involve a lack of clear and direct communication, as individuals hide their true intentions and use manipulation to get what they want. This can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and a breakdown in communication, making it more difficult for individuals to work together and achieve their goals.
 
Unhealthy competition

Some games involve competition between individuals within a team, which can lead to a toxic and unhealthy working environment. Rather than collaborating and supporting each other, team members may be focused on one-upping each other or gaining an advantage at the expense of their colleagues.
 
Employee turnover

When games are prevalent within a team, it can lead to high levels of stress, frustration, and dissatisfaction among employees. This can result in high levels of turnover, as employees seek to leave the toxic environment and find a healthier work environment.

Conclusion
 
To manage the implications of games in management, it's important to focus on building a culture of trust, collaboration, and open communication. This means setting clear expectations for behavior, encouraging direct and honest communication, and fostering an environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their opinions and ideas without fear of retribution. By doing so, organizations can create a more positive and productive workplace that supports the success of the team and the organization as a whole.

Dr. Joshy K T, Retired Kerala Regional Manager of the Oriental Insurance Company Ltd., having more than three decades of experience in Marketing and HR Management has recently done a Ph.D. in Management Science, at Karunya Institute of Technology and Science (KITS), deemed to be University, Coimbatore. He is an M.Phil. holder in Applied Economics from Cochin University of Science and Technology (CUSAT). He has an MBA in Human Resource Management and has a Postgraduate Diploma in Teaching and research in Management from Indira Gandhi Open University.  He is also a Fellow of the Insurance Institute of India, Mumbai.